


Trial and Error

by kuwdora



Category: The Big Bang Theory
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-02-01
Updated: 2009-02-01
Packaged: 2018-01-27 21:48:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1723616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuwdora/pseuds/kuwdora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“What about Mr. Bale brought you to your climax?” he asked, and for a moment Penny wanted to pull her pants back up and forget whole “experiment”. It was awkward describing her fantasies <i>Sheldon Cooper</i> of all people. She never did this with any of the men she actually had sex with. None of them were ever interested, actually, and even though the questions were insane (Sheldon equally so), somehow the way he asked them lent an air of normalcy to the whole bizarro situation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trial and Error

**Author's Note:**

> written for the [Porn Battle VII.](http://oxoniensis.livejournal.com/395384.html?page=14&view=23827832#comments) Prompt: experiment. Many thanks to [](http://teaphile.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://teaphile.livejournal.com/)**teaphile** who gave a quick beta in the early stages of the fic. Just when this fic couldn't get more ridiculous, it did. Oh, Sheldon Cooper, how are you so awesome and strange? And hey... I wrote het. o_O

Penny sighed and flopped backwards and poked Sheldon in the back with her foot. Sheldon inched away, put off by the physical contact and turned to look at Penny. He tilted his head, scrutinizing her every movement as she pushed her sweats down, hand sliding into her panties.

“What are you doing?”

“Booting up,” Penny said, rubbing her clit.

“Is masturbation a usual precursor to initializing ‘casual sex?’”

Penny laughed. “Honey, you’re a little overdressed for casual.”

Sheldon glanced at his green arrow t-shirt and back to Penny, looking her in the eyes, as if he didn’t or . “The parameters of the experiment don’t require the absence of my clothing,” he said. Penny huffed and with that Sheldon returned to his laptop.

Penny’s fingers danced across her softness in sync with Sheldon’s keyboard strokes.

“When was the last time you achieved an orgasm?” Sheldon asked.

“Mmm,” Penny hummed and Sheldon turned to look at her again. Penny grinned as he looked at her in the face, like he couldn’t or wouldn’t see her feeling herself up right in front of him. She still had her tank top on and her sweats were bunched at her feet, so it wasn’t that bad for him, she guessed.

“2 days, maybe? I had a stressful shift. Blew off steam after watching your copy of The Dark Knight,” Penny said grinning at Sheldon's hesitation.

“What about Mr. Bale brought you to your climax?” he asked, and for a moment Penny wanted to pull her pants back up and forget whole “experiment”. It was awkward describing her fantasies _Sheldon Cooper_ of all people. She never did this with any of the men she actually had sex with. None of them were ever interested, actually, and even though the questions were insane (Sheldon equally so), somehow the way he asked them lent an air of normalcy to the whole bizarro situation.

“Tall. Dark. Handsome,” Penny said and stopped to pull her panties free and tossed them carefully over Sheldon’s shoulder. Score! They landed right on his keyboard. She smiled as she and laid back again. She didn't care if he wasn't going to touch her, he was Sheldon after all, but she still had to have some kind of foreplay.

“What woman can resist a grown man running around in a bat suit?”

The clacking of his keyboard stopped and Sheldon looked around her messy room, holding her underwear up as if they were radioactive.

“Does your laundry basket still have clean laundry in it?”

“Yep,” she said, knowing how much that must drive him up the wall, but she was pretty sure by now it wouldn't drive him from the room. He was too curious to leave already.

He frowned and carefully deposited them on the floor by his feet.

“C’mon, Sheldon. I know you’re a physicist and everything’s theoretical, but you need some hands on experience.”

“Yes, you’ve already stated the case for my involvement, but you must remember that coitus will not happen between the two of us.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know your boundaries, but you’re here to find mine,” Penny said, rolling onto her knees and reaching for a vibrator. She twisted the bottom and held it out to Sheldon, the little penguin buzzing offensively loud, as if calling out for a clit to stimulate.

Sheldon leaned forward, peering at the vibrating purple shaft. “Interesting."

He placed the open laptop on her nightstand and pressed a final key on the laptop and sat down on the bed again. “March 29th, 2009. This is Doctor Sheldon Cooper where I will be recording my notes on the pleasure centers of a woman’s body. The subject—Penny—is a 23 years old who engages in mild sexual activity and--”

Penny sat up. “Excuse me?”

Sheldon reached into his pocket and pulled out latex gloves. “I installed speech recognition software on my laptop after a particularly brutal video game injury,” he said, hand mid-way into the glove. When he snapped the glove, he flexed his fingers for her. “Couldn’t type for a week,” he said. “I’ll use it to dictate notes throughout the process.”

“Rii-iight,” Penny said, suppressing a laugh. She waved the vibrator at Sheldon until he took it.

“Are you sure this is the one you want to start with? There seems to be a variety of options to choose from,” Sheldon said, stepping closer to the bed and picking one of her more curved vibrators. “This looks geared towards for your g-spot while this would offer you simultaneous vaginal and clitoral stimulation,” he said, holding up the one she gave him.

Penny flopped backwards onto her bed and parted her knees, “I’ve tried them all, I know what they can do.”

Sheldon set one of the vibrators down on the bed and looked around the bedspread.

“You seem to be missing lubrication,” he stated.

“Lube?”

“Lubrication that helps facilitate—”

“I know what lube’s for.”

“Well, you don’t seem to have any available. Fortunately I’d researched several informative websites beforehand and managed to purchase some.” Sheldon pulled out a bottle of lube from his pocket and held it out for her. “Mango-flavored. 48% of the time you opted to drink the last of our orange juice last month and while mangos are a part of mangifera and _not_ the citrus genus, they have much of the same nutritional and taste value.”

Penny stared at Sheldon nearly half a minute before she burst out laughing. “Oh, whatever. Put it some on, put it in,” she said, still thumbing her clit, the flush of arousal spreading through her body. She wouldn’t need lube at this point, but it was still hilarious to watch Sheldon squirt too much lube into his palm and try to slather it onto vibrator.

He held the vibrator tentatively and kneeled between Penny’s legs and looked at her. When he didn’t move, didn’t say anything for so long, Penny grew a little worried. Even a stunned Sheldon would run at the mouth. She grabbed his wrists and helped guide the vibrator to her opening and she helped part herself to let him push it in. He did it slowly, probably because he was where no man like him had gone before. Once he was in, let go of the vibrator and Penny moved the base around in circles and watched Sheldon watch her. It was absolutely surreal, him and the latex gloves and _hideous_ plaid — _plaid_ pants, watching her push and pull the vibrator in and out. She reached for Sheldon’s hand and gave the vibrator back.

Sheldon looked at his laptop and at Penny and was careful not to touch either of her legs as mimicked the motions he saw her do, carefully pressing deeper until Penny moaned. She she could barely hear the jumbled notes Sheldon was trying to organizeinto words. She didn’t need words because the little penguin was hitting her clit _just right_ and her hands dropped to the bed, grabbing a fistful of sheets. When she opened her eyes, Sheldon was reaching for another, smaller vibrator that was shaped like a caterpillar and her heart actually skipped a beat.

Sheldon tipped the current vibrator at a different angle and it dug deeper into her, deeper into her clit and Penny wondered how long Sheldon would actually want to test each of the vibrators out. This experiment could actually work out better than she thought. Most guys she’d slept with came and went and most of the time she’d get off, but it’d a been long while since she had the opportunity and guy to run a sexual marathon with. All of a sudden, she was hoping that Sheldon would be come as enamored with the experiment as he would with his favorite video game. He could quest until he found her hidden treasure.

Penny clenched around the vibrator as he began pulling it out and she sighed happily.

“That was satisfactory?”

“More than,” Penny murmured, hand falling to rub her lonely clit. Sheldon held up the caterpillar for her and she nodded encouragingly. He pressed the tip to her opening but hesitated again.

“Sweetie, what’s wrong?”

“Are you aware that this caterpillar facsimile has a smiley face?”

Penny snorted. “He’s happy to give me orgasms, Sheldon.”

“Ah,” he said, but didn’t push the smiling caterpillar in.

Penny smiled and poked Sheldon’s knee with her foot. “You could pretend you were Captain Kirk or somebody exploring a new frontier. Fantasies can be just as important as reality,” Penny said.

“You’re kidding, right?” Sheldon asked.

“No.”

“While Captain Kirk was an excellent captain, he was far from the ideal 23rd century man. He was a philanderer who used and discarded women after he’d engaged in sexual intercourse with them. Granted, he was a man of the stars and could not be tied down to any one woman, but that’s no excuse for his misogynistic ways.”

Penny blinked at him and shrugged. “Fine. Spock, then?”

Sheldon shook his head. “He and Nurse Chapel, later promoted to Doctor Chapel in the Motion Picture, never engaged in a sexual affair and his relationship with T’Pring was, shall we say, rocky and full of lies and tricks that you’d see on one of your preferred soap operas.” He paused, staring at the buzzing caterpillar in his hand and added, “There are those who speculate upon the fraternal relationship between Spock and the Captain as being more than what it appeared to be on screen, but such things are not what I’d consider good fodder for fantasies.”

Penny blinked and sat up. “I’m sorry, wha?”

Sheldon opened up his mouth but she held his hand to him and grabbed the vibrator. “Okay, Never mind. I don’t want to know unless you tell me while you test out the last vibrator over there,” she said, pointing with the caterpillar to her best expensive friend.

“Ooo, the blue one,” Sheldon asked and reached for it. He eyed the base which had more buttons than the others and his face lit up when it began the shaft and buzzed and twisted a synchronous pattern.

Penny laughed at the delight on Sheldon’s face. It was as much of a learning curve for her to figure out what’d get Sheldon excited as it was for him to figure out her inner workings.

“Caterpillar or…?” she asked, holding the caterpillar up next to the gyrating and vibrating shaft. Sheldon pressed the final button on the blue vibrator after pressing all of the others and it started to pulsate rapidly and then cool down, only to rev up again. He smiled like an idiot at the toy.

“I believe this will be more than sufficient for now,” he said as the vibrator pulsated three times in a row.


End file.
